Sometimes blogs are good. Other times they are not.

Like that last post, I realized that when I keep secrets like that and do not journalize them or write them out or message or email or text them, they're stagnant. Like the times where I have fleeting crushes on other guys. Or when I wonder about my exes. Or when I bash my husband. They just get out of hand, and make the small situation worse. So, I'll try to resolve not to do that anymore.

I had a great Christmas. I think I will have a good New Years. But I have a perfect life.

Who else can say that they feel like the perfect family, with the hot mom and dad raising beautiful cute children who are well behaved in public, with the boy, girl, and baby? I don't have to worry about finances. I mean, I still save like scrooge and find deals everywhere, but if I want to buy myself something, I don't have to think, "hm, can I afford it this month?" I'm not a big spender anyway so it's more like, "should I cut my hair this Fall or wait until Spring?" I own my own house. I decorate it the way I like. I drive the classic minivan. I don't know of many who don't like me-but when I come across those people, we don't interact very much. My family is AWESOME. My friends are loyal. My health is great. And I love my calling!
  (I feel like singing Jann Arden's "Good Mother" now. I've touched on all the points she sings about!)

I was thinking about Rachel last week or so, and how she is such an angel baby. If you could ask to take care of a baby, she'd be the one you'd ask for. She hardly cries, is super predictable on what she needs, is quietly observant, gets her rest all night, and smiles to make my heart melt. Upon reading an article from a past Ensign about a baby dying early in infancy, she quoted Joseph Smith on how those children were just too pure, too perfect for this world. I thought about my own life, and how I was given a perfect child that never made it into this realm. And Rachel is the baby after that, but how perfect I think she is right now. My heart just bursts with joy!

I love my firstborn because he's my first child. I love my second because she's my first girl. And I love my third because she's my first baby after a miscarriage.

I've been patient

It's finally Friday, and my hubby has no more work to do until the new year. He has worked like a dog since October, finishing off the Edmonton book and deadlines. I have stayed out of his way for the most part, keeping dinner citas lower with missionaries, skipped date nights, temple trips, anything that would pull him away from all the work he needed to do. He would work, eat my home cooked meals and usually put the kids to bed while I get a breather, and then go back to his office until at least midnight.
But it's all over! It's time to party with my love! The kids went to bed at a reasonable hour, the baby included, so I suggested we play a board game together or something! Well that got no response and Facebook seemed to be more important to him.
I've been in my bed reading a book for the past hour, hoping he will come up and see my scanties but no.
Then I can get on the rant that I do all the housework. I do all the cooking. Unless he doctors his own up or doesn't want mine. I do all the laundry. I do most of the childcare throughout the day. I just feel like all these things I'm doing are just expected of me nowadays! When he does do the dishes or watches the kids for me, I make sure I thank him deeply for it. He tells me from time to time im appreciated but, sigh. Am I being unreasonable or needy by any stretch of the imagination?
There are lots of things I could have blogged about how wonderful he is with the kids and listening to me when we have deep talks and other stuff, but I don't feel like writing that today. I feel like I kind of deserve a little attention for being his wife. Not what he can get from it, but what he can give from it.

Ten days til...

So my hubby's calling is ward clerk. He will be gone before and after church on Sundays. I guess it won't be so bad once we switch to 9:00 church in January. He also has an assistant so that will ease the workload I'm sure.

The stake devotional is on the 14th...and the song I picked is Star of Wonder, by Sally Deford. (www.defordmusic.com) It's more suited for a guy, but I like the range, and I practice so I can hit the high notes effortlessly. My kids seem to think it's a Christmas carol, because I sing the chorus around the house, and now they've started singing it with me. lol

Our tree has been up for about a week now, and the kids began decorating it themselves. I don't have a problem with that, only that they aren't very tall! So today I spread out the decorations to also be on the top half of the tree. It's looking very festive now! Even the dining room table is 3/4 cleared!

For about three weeks I've been working on some new goals. I needed to get a kickstart once again, feeling like I wasn't contributing much to anything but raising my kids. Not that it's a bad thing, but my zing was missing. Mizzing. haha. Some of the goals that I try to implement daily included thanking three people, sending a nice message or act of kindness, get heart pumping, drinking 6 glasses of water, complimenting spouse, and reading a physical book. They do say that it takes 21 days to form a habit, and though I don't have to look at my 'to-do' list anymore, I am still aware if I've done them or not. The hardest one to do, believe it or not, is the drinking water!

I just don't drink liquids in general. So that's why I did six cups first, and then I can work my way to 8 or 10.
Because of all the arranging of music going on this month, and colder weather meaning more times I go somewhere with the kids, the thanking is hardly ever a problem to attain.

I'm in the middle of reading Madonna's biography and Insurgent, besides the scriptures or Ensigns or other church books I'm halfway through. I prefer reading real paper books instead of online ones, just because I'm on my phone a lot during the day so it's nice to pick up something that's not a screen.

Hmm, which should I read? :)









I think what I'm going to start doing is making a list of the things I'm slowly accumulating for Christmas for my family. I don't want to overspend, and it's so easy to do if I walk into a toy store or dollar store. Less is more, and my kids aren't too old yet to know how much they really are getting at Christmas time anyway. It's a blessing.

Next Tuesday will be my baby's third month. She has had a growth spurt and is getting pretty chunky! She's discovering her hands and sucks on them, and bats at things. Babies are so adorable and fun to have in a home. My other kids take really good care of her.